There is a lot of talk amongst spiritual circles about being an ‘empath’ and what all that means exactly. There are many memes, articles, and even books about the topic. Due to the many, many ideas about the topic there is a bit of confusion about exactly what being an empath is supposed to mean. The most basic definition that I believe is generally agreed upon is: Empath - a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. In fewer and more basic words, an empath can feel the emotions and mental states of others. Due to this, empaths are often overwhelmed in public places or large crowds. They can become overwhelmed even by television and radio. They often feel the emotions of even fictional characters as real and within themselves. Empaths are often very emotional people and can even be accused of overreacting at times. Now that we have the most basic definition and a loose grasp on what it means to be an empath, let us discuss the matter further. The idea of being an empath and holding that title attracts many among the New Age Movement as well as other spiritual movements. By proclaiming to be an empath, the seeker separates themselves from the general population. A person that believes they are an empath can then justify their emotional nature and even gain some moral credibility based on that nature. It is this behavior that I intend to address. Research has shown that human brains detect the brain waves and heart patterns of other humans. Along those same lines, experiments have been conducted that lead scientists to understand that humans produce scents based on their emotional disposition and that each of us have a unique scent ‘fingerprint’. Further, experimentation has shown that we constantly pick up on and interpret these scents from others without even knowing it. Even if we try to judge others as little as possible or not at all, our brains are constantly intercepting information from the brains, hearts, scents, and behavior of those around us and then subsequently interpreting that information. What does this mean? It means that we are ALL empaths differing only in degree. Yes. You read that right. The science is out. The studies have been completed. The facts are in. Every human on this planet is capable of and constantly in the process of interpreting the emotions and mental states of those around us via scent, heart patterns, and brain waves. I, of course, do not want to imply that science has it all figured out but rather that it has confirmed the fact that we all sense one another in more than one way. Our interactions are not limited to material, physical interactions alone. So then, if we are all empaths or at least have the capacity to be what makes some of us more prone to greater levels of empathetic interactions? Just as with all of our physical senses, we each have different natural tendencies due to many reason. Genetics, culture, education, spiritual pursuits, and many more things affect all of our senses. Some of us need glasses to see. Some need hearing aids. Some of us have keen senses of smell or superior vision. Some of us feel more physical pain while some hardly notice it at all. Just like the rest of our senses and abilities, our empathy is subject to variations between persons. There are, of course, those that naturally feel more emotion from both within and without. The reasoning is not simple and there is no exact answer as to why some are more empathetic than others. Being an empath is often used as a means to justify emotional instability. Many suggest that their wild emotional states and changing moods can be excused because they are experiencing the emotions of others and thus they alleviate personal responsibility. This is unacceptable. Imagine that a person has naturally bad vision so they in turn crash their car and kill someone in the process. Would their naturally dull vision be sufficient to reduce their responsibility in the accidental death they caused? Hardly. Now, this is an extreme example and being overly empathetic or emotional may never cause a death. Don’t get hung up on the example as it was merely for the purpose of understanding. Continuing, if a person of reduced visual acuity killed someone in a car accident they would be held accountable to some degree. They would most likely be charged with some form of manslaughter here in America and possibly even do some serious jail time. Why? Well because there are methods to improve vision available. For the person with bad vision it is absolutely imperative that they have some device(s) to improve that vision if they want to operate a motor vehicle. This is for the public and for the person of bad vision. The same logic can be applied to the person who experiences strong emotions and increased empathy. There are methods available to us that allow us to develop our emotions and learn to observe them without action. These methods are free and one needs nothing but their own willpower to practice them, unlike eye glasses or contacts. That being said, the overly empathetic should not try and reduce their empathy or bury those emotions. That is not what I am suggesting. Unlike problems with vision, added empathy can be beneficial. Being able to discern the emotional states of others is vital for the teacher, the healer, the guide, and the shaman not to mention many others. No effort should be made to reduce emotions or to neglect them at any point. The effort to be made is towards controlling our responses to those emotions. We must learn to feel hate without acting upon it. We must learn to feel anger without becoming it. We must learn to feel sadness without allowing that sadness to control our lives even for a moment. The overly empathetic must learn to observe emotions without reacting. Since we have identified that we are all empaths differing only in degree, can the term still be used to describe those of us that feel more and connect more? Sure. It is understood what is meant when someone uses that term. It is of extreme importance that we do not allow ourselves to use the term and title to alleviate personal responsibility or to reduce our efforts at self-control. Empathy is no excuse for outlandish behavior or wild mood swings within ourselves. Such things are not evidence of empathy but rather they are evidence of the need for self-improvement and self-mastery. Buddha, Jesus, Rumi, MLK Jr., Hermes, and many others greater than you and I have been empathetic without being uncontrolled. Jesus faced even his own death and embraced it without becoming wild or irrational. MLK Jr. faced violence and racism without losing his cool. If you believe that being an empath is excuse for irrational, illogical, and uncontrolled behavior within yourself then you are sadly mistaken. Examine yourself and be honest with yourself. Do you claim the title because you can feel and discern the moods and minds of others or do you claim it to justify your own asinine behavior? Or is the answer perhaps both? Are you actually an empath and yet use it as an excuse? That is even less acceptable. In the end, this behavior harms everyone around you. If you allow yourself to become emotionally unstable you will inevitably impact those around you. We all recognize this. Not only do you harm those around you, you harm yourself more than all. If you allow yourself to dwell in that mindset then you become stagnated and commit yourself to a lifelong loop of mood swings; highs and lows. I hope above all things that you received this message positively and realize that this is not someone trying to hammer on you and belittle you for your lack of control. I hope that you recognize the true intent of this message. That intent is to convey the message that you do not have to live the way you are living. You do not have to accept wild mood swings and emotional irresponsibility. You do not have to live in depression and sadness. You do not have to be so moved by others. You can improve and you can make your life better. If you truly want to use your empathy (and if you are an empath you most certainly do) then you must learn to harness it rather than be harnessed by it. Learn to observe these failures within yourself but do not be a harsh judge. Learn to recognize when you are being exceedingly emotional. By this recognition alone you will improve by leaps and bounds in only a few months. I speak from experience. I speak as living proof. If you are having trouble with this, please feel free to contact us. We can provide you with a bit of support and objectivity for your situation as well as suggest methods of improvement. We can also offer you personal success stories to help you stay motivated on the path to self-mastery and to becoming truly empathetic and controlled. Sources and links of interest:http://www.heartmath.com
http://www.heartmath.com/research/#eer https://www.heartmath.org/articles-of-the-heart/science-of-the-heart/the-energetic-heart-is-unfolding/ http://www.forbes.com/sites/rogerdooley/2012/11/08/people-can-smell-emotions/#784fd22866b2 http://www.brainworksneurotherapy.com/what-are-brainwaves http://www.iamthedoc.com/thefilm/ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2006885/Humans-really-DO-sixth-sense-lets-detect-magnetic-fields.html https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissus-in-all-us/201102/how-you-know-eyes-are-watching-you http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/07/smell-feelings-disgust-fear-chemosignals_n_2083047.html
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